Who's Gonna Scream In Your Ear

Holy cow, two opinions in as many days. From a wife? That's what happens when she has a pile of ironing - the mind must entertain itself whilst maneuvering the collars' two sides, shoulders and across the necks, the double cuffs with fold-backs, round and round the buttons, then matching the stiffeners to the correct shirts.

For better, for worse, in sickness and health, for boxers and court attire.

How did you go on the voluntary get-someone-to-kill-you-when-you're-gaga-or-dying legislation? Sorry but it's nuts calling this Death With Dignity. Death means you're gone for ever. No dignity in that, mate. Surely they mean Dying With Dignity.

How about an MP introduces a Bill called Life With Dignity? There's a novel idea.

But as our last PM, the Rt Hon Helen Clark said, when caught in a pickle, "Moving right along."

I'm baffled as to why airline people in Thailand are "struggling with" and object to their latest class of passengers, ie, life-size dolls called Luk Thep https://asiancorrespondent.com/2016/01/thai-smile-airways-look-thep/

They're also called Angel Children, which is surely an oxymoron. Children are brats, that's why these mute, immobile dolls should be welcomed aboard and given the best seats. Instead, their mewling, squealing, squawking real life doppelgangers must henceforth be put in the overhead lockers. If the owners of these Luk Thep, bless, are happy to pay for an extra ticket, and batty enough to want their dolls fed the inedible airline food, then why object?

Actually it's not children who are the problem on planes so much as their parents. Babies, one can forgive and tolerate - their ears hurt appallingly when planes ascend and descend and there isn't much one can do to help. But in today's age children and parents are equals and friends. We don't discipline we just reason with them even when they want to boot the back of the seat in front of them the entire flight, pull the hair of the passenger in that same seat then swing on the seat back. 'No' doesn't figure in the lexicon of these families. Uttering the words, 'Eat your vegetables because I'm your mother and I say so' is the equivalent of child abuse. Children should choose whatever they wish to do; want to eat because they need to grow into....[fill in the gap from 21st century psychobabble book but definitely not Spock]. 

Never mind. On Air New Zealand we've always got Nannies in the form of some of the new bright young steward. Lately they've taken it upon themselves to protect us from ourselves, inspired, no doubt, by those wretched safety videos. Instead of normal airlines like Myanmar Airways, where they  point out the exits, tell you to belt up then sit down and drink coffee, Air New Zealand insults our intelligence with a video which torturers would have crawled over ground glass to use at Abu Ghraib.

Then the staff stalk the aisles checking we're all tucked up ready for an hour's chit chat over the sound system - no chance of reading - and woe betide any passenger with buds in their ears: "What's playing on that?"

Of late they've even taking to checking how passengers drinking alcohol on a flight will be getting themselves home - are they driving themselves or will they be collected? I kid you not - after serving the booze a steward then demanded a passenger prove a taxi would be called.

If you can't afford your own private jet, you just have to suck it up.

I can just see Air New Zealand's next safety video, set to this song from The Cars: